Remember the concept of “Bait and Switch”? You know, when a store advertises something and then switches it for something entirely different and more expensive?
It seems that I am embarking on a version of “Bait and Switch”. I am not inhabiting the same persona.
I am recoiling from a first strike capability on my TO DO list. I have assented to a non-proliferation treaty on my ability to forge ahead. I am recoiling from a first strike capability to multi-task I am in shock looking for awe. I have stockpiled my weapons of mass exclamation points and finite periods.
In short, I am in a comma, the space after an open parentheses. I am paused. I am allowing myself to be where I am. Not be in the next place or be in the past, but just be here and now. Right now.
I am not rushing to the next action/reaction/place/phase/project/to do list item/location/task.
Just here. Just time. Just me.
And it is starting to tick some people off.
No, really. No. REALLY.
I would say that it is pissing people off but I really do not like that word.
I am feeling pressure from the “Supposta tribe.”
I am Supposta to do things to stay in this tribe. I am Supposta:
1. be here at this time
2. wear this suit
3. say these things, cover these points, and then
4. stop saying these things, at this time
5. quit being “pathetic”
6. f ight back
7. call a lawyer
8. put my foot down
I do try that. I take off my pumps, put my foots-both of them-down and Ruby bounces over and
licks my toes. Well, I guess it does work. But it is messy and does not feel good when the pumps are
But the tribe will not be silenced. I am Supposta:
9. take some time off
10. ‘get back to the old helen’
11. get something called “emotional distance.”
I have to Google that one.
12. take care of myself.
Um, would you please let me take care of you instead? That I can do. This other thing you want me to do—the take care of me idea—is pretty difficult and squishy with uncertainty.
But sure, I will think about it. Ooops, got another call.
Then it arrives: another option, another approach.
And then the impression warms me. I feel it before I am conscious of it:
- Be still and know that I am God*
- I will fight for you, you need only to be still**
- …tread lightly, hear your breathing, reach out to just one person today,
watch Big Bang Theory reruns***
These seem better for me. For awhile. For today.
***Jeremiah 29:5 (admittedly updated and paraphrased)
I Have Been Waiting
I have recreated my world toward waiting
…………..books to read while I waited
…………..movies to watch while I waited
…………..hobbies and projects to pursue while I waited
But if I could whisper it to you so as not to awaken my ego…
there is little need to wait any longer now,
I am Here
I have Arrived
And I am worth the wait
What if we believed in the deep places, the darkest recesses, that He always provided — and not just barely, but abundantly?
From a post in A Holy Experience by Ann Voskamp
“… There’s a reason I am not writing the story and God is. He knows how it all works out, where it all leads, what it all means. I don’t…. [I]t’s accepting there are things we simply don’t understand. But He does. And I see. At least a bit more.”
When we find ourselves groping along, famished for more, we can choose. When we are despairing, we can choose to live as Israelites gathering manna. For forty long years, God’s people daily eat manna—a substance whose name literally means “What is it?”
Hungry, they choose to gather up that which is baffling. They fill on that which has no meaning.
More than 14,600 days they take their daily nourishment from that which they don’t comprehend. They find soul-filling in the inexplicable. They eat the mystery.
To read the entire post, please gently click here
God gives gifts and I give thanks and I unwrap the gift given: joy.
And gratitude for the seemingly insignificant—a seed—this plants the giant miracle.
Do not disdain the small. The whole of the life—even the hard—is made up of the minute parts, and if I miss the infinitesimals, I miss the whole.
There is a way to live the big of giving thanks in all things. It is this: to give thanks in this one small thing. The moments will add up.
To read more from Ann Voskamp‘s blog, gently click here
Where there is lack of love, you can fill it. That’s how I made you.
Everything else is just your ego saying, “I’d rather it be different.”
from the poem Problemlessness by Tara Sophia Mohr
to read the entire poem, please gently click here
Vulnerability is one of our most potent superpowers. It seems ironic if you interpret vulnerability as being weak, but it is quite the opposite. It takes courage to dream, courage to love, courage to yearn for something dear and deep. The more we can place ourselves squarely inside of our vulnerability and practice finding our strength there, the more the magic will unfold.
~Andrea Scher, first read at Painted Path