Bait and Switch and the Supposta Tribe

Remember the concept of “Bait and Switch”? You know, when a store advertises something and then switches it for something entirely different and more expensive?

It seems that I am embarking on a version of “Bait and Switch”. I am not inhabiting the same persona.

Lately

I am recoiling from a first strike capability on my TO DO list. I have assented to a non-proliferation treaty on my ability to forge ahead. I am recoiling from a first strike capability to multi-task I am in shock looking for awe. I have stockpiled my weapons of mass exclamation points and finite periods.

In short, I am in a comma, the space after an open parentheses.  I am paused. I am allowing myself to be where I am. Not be in the next place or be in the past, but just be here and now. Right now.

I am not rushing to the next action/reaction/place/phase/project/to do list item/location/task.

Just here. Just time. Just me.

And it is starting to tick some people off.
No, really. No. REALLY.
I would say that it is pissing people off but I really do not like that word.

I am feeling pressure from the “Supposta tribe.

I am Supposta to do things to stay in this tribe.  I am Supposta:
1. be here at this time
2. wear this suit
3. say these things, cover these points, and then
4. stop saying these things, at this time
5. quit being “pathetic” 
6. f ight back
7. call a lawyer
8. put my foot down
                                    I do try that. I take off my pumps, put my foots-both of them-down and Ruby bounces over and 
                                    licks  my toes. Well, I guess it does work. But it is messy and does not feel good when the pumps are
                                    repositioned.

But the tribe will not be silenced. I am Supposta:
  9. take some time off
10. ‘get back to the old helen’  
11. get something called emotional distance.

                                   I have to Google that one.

12. take care of myself.
Um, would you please let me take care of you instead?  That I can do. This other thing you want me to do—the take care of me idea—is pretty difficult and squishy with uncertainty.
But sure, I will think about it. Ooops, got another call.

Then it arrives: another option, another approach.

And then the impression warms me. I feel it before I am conscious of it:

  1. Be still and know that I am God*
  2. I will fight for you, you need only to be still**
  3. tread lightly, hear your breathing, reach out to just one person today, 
    watch Big Bang Theory reruns***

These seem better for me. For awhile. For today.

###
Verse References:
*Psalm 46:10
**Exodus 14:14
***Jeremiah 29:5 (admittedly updated and paraphrased)

Advertisements

4 Responses

  1. Just saw this on the “Your Courageous Life” Facebook page:

    What would have more room to show up in your life, if life were not dominated by the to-do list?

  2. In a post this week, Christa, from Carry It Forward– http://www.carryitforward.com/ — said so much more succinctly and elegantly what I attempted but then descended to blathering about:
    “Let’s just go with this: sometimes when you allow your feelings, when you touch them and notice that they are there, when you control the urge to stuff them because they are not “good” or “pleasant” or “fit for company”, then they just dissolve. Poof, and they are gone.” Thank you Christa.
    To read the entire post, gently click here– http://www.carryitforward.com/those-oceans

  3. […] With a scalpel’s precision perhaps we can isolate and excise the expectations based on our ego, our self, our sense of justice, fairness, our woulds/shoulds/coulds/suppostas. […]

  4. […] I can Find Him in a comma, in the space after the open parentheses of Grace. […]

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: