Is there an i in Escape?

Another personal icon in my life fell this week in a crushing torrent of rage. A surprise to my ego since this icon, This Voice,  did damage so close to the bone of my identity. So close to the identity I thought defined me, since I had inherited parts of it.  So surprising the suddenness of the quake of it.

And all I wanted to do was escape. Run. Leave.

And keep going. Keep walking. Away.

I retreated as far as the job listings in a familiar place. And there was one. There always is. And a friend there too. And an invitation.

To escape. But escape is a gilded temptation. Because when I escape, I take myself. And my problems. And my fears.

“Only leave when the crisis has passed and things are calm,” the mentor once said.

I remember those wise words now. And that is the wonder of it.So, what? So, what now?

From my memory, something familiar develops, fuzzy at first before Polaroid-clarity.  

Return to the basics. “Watch the ball,” the good coach would say. “See it meet the strings of your racket. See it until your focus slows it down. Breathe through your shot. Good. Do it again. And again. 100 forehands. 100 backhands. 100 overheads. 100 volleys-each side. 100 serves. 100 lobs.
Always end with the lobs, because they take the most patience.”

And fast forward to today~~Return to the Basics: Stay Present. Breathe Deeply. Return to Water: drink it, submerge in it, splash in it, soak in it, let the tears remain from it. Return to what God says about me. Remember my identity in Him.

He will carry the lambs in his arms, holding them close to his heart. Isaiah 40:11


and the paradox
Ann Voskamp

Return to Gratitude and the wonder and truth that you and I are here because of grace .
And the escape comes in what The Father is making new.

This song is a gift for the escapee in me: Click to listen: Solid Ground by Shelly Moore Band

:)

To read Ann Voskamp’s entire post, with her quote included, please gently click here.

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2 Responses

  1. It is honorable and courageous of you to walk through the fire and to harvest the gifts on the other side of the pain.

  2. […] This Time. And sometimes I am left with panic and wanting to escape. […]

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