Severing Some Relationships

Part of your newness in this year may be the people, places, and painful toxic relationships you left behind.

Now that today begins the double digits of a new month/year/perspective, you may feel the pangs.

I wince when the pangs signal their sinister assault. It usually begins with a trigger—-a song-a memory-a photo-even a scent or a smell of the previous. Sometimes I am surprised because my ego told me that “we”—my ego and I—had this grieving thing all worked out.

This Time. And sometimes I am left with panic and wanting to escape.

Perhaps this sentiment will help you as it helped me:

Severing relationships are often difficult especially if one person is more emotionally invested than the other. However, in ALMOST all cases those who hurt the most will probably end-up happier because in hindsight when the healing begins and they learn the lessons of being taken for granted, they discover their true worth and hopefully, they will no longer settle for crumbs.

So if you are currently in this situation where you are hurting because someone broke your heart, please believe me when I tell you… your heart is really unbreakable. You might think it is because your thoughts are preoccupied with hurt at the moment, but once the dust clouds of anger and pain dissipate, your heart will still be there to tell you, “Hey kiddo, we can only hurt as much as we allow ourselves too and we can be happy the same way.” ~ Dodinsky

Please remember that grieving is not just for loved ones preceeding us to heaven. It is also for people who leave without departing. And for ideas and expectations and dreams that belong to other paths.

Because of Grace, God is here.

…the LORD is close to broken-hearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit… psalm 34:18

And Because of Grace, we can remedy the pain by remembering Philippians 4:8 (also my focus verse for this new year) and take captive every thought so that it conforms to what is true, noble, etc…and in that, we come out on the other side of the things that are insensitive and toxic.

phil 4 8

Because of Grace, God knows the answer for you and me. And God is always safe to trust…so we can ask…

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4 Responses

  1. Oh Helen – How beautifully written this message IS! I especially appreciate:

    “Please remember that grieving is not just for loved ones preceeding us to heaven. It is also for people who leave without departing. And for ideas and expectations and dreams that belong to other paths.”

    What great perspective these two lines bring to the soul! Thank you, for sharing such thoughtful, heartfelt words. You are so blessed as well as a blessing yourself!

    Much Love,
    Jacqui

    • Jacqui: I am humbled and grateful to you for reading my post and your extremely supportive comment here. After much and much (and probably too much) agonizing, I chose to continue to help care for my Dad and resign from my job. Your comment here is a huge GodWink for me.
      Thank you!

      • Oh my friend! God is soooooooooooooooo in charge and YOU are LISTENING!!! ;-)

        Good for You on ALL accounts!

      • appreciate your continued support, Jacqui! You know, the self-reliance of Emerson/Thoreau fades slowly with me! But yielding from self-reliance to God reliance is healing for me.
        Also, in a happy GodWink today, I receive an email verse-of-the-day…and the verse is:~ Philippians 4:19
        And this same God who takes care of me will supply all of your needs from his glorious riches, which have been given to us in Christ Jesus.
        Just a big Y-E-S to this!

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