When Mother’s Day is not how you thought it would be…
That first Mother’s Day spent without your own mom is tough. The first Mother’s Day spent without your adult child, your young child, your baby child, or your unborn child is brutal. And if you can just get through the first Mother’s Day, then all the ones after that will be…
Angie Smith is one of my heroes. In 2008, Angie Smith and her husband Todd (lead singer of the group Selah) learned through ultrasound that their fourth daughter had conditions making her “incompatible with life.” Advised to terminate the pregnancy, the Smiths chose instead to carry this child and allow room for a miracle. That miracle came the day they met Audrey Caroline and got the chance to love her for the precious two-and-a-half hours she lived on earth. In her blog, Bring the Rain, http://angiesmithonline.com/ Angie writes achingly and with hope and faith.
Sometimes I think it’s harder to believe the way I do, because I believe with everything in me that He could have changed the story. This line of thinking inevitably brings me to the question, “Why didn’t He?” Many people have written me with the same question, and I want to tell you that I have thought it through many times, and I have come up with a great theological explanation that I want to share with you.
I have absolutely no idea.
What I do know is this:
The Lord walk beside me and He walked beside Moses, and He knows me by name. He loves me, and I love Him. I pushed my baby through the reeds, and never saw her again. And yet, here I am, worshipping the God who allowed it.
Angie is the author of I Will Carry You. I Will Carry You tells the powerful story of a parent losing her child, interwoven with the biblical story of Lazarus to help those who mourn to still have hope—to find grace and peace in the sacred dance of grief and joy.
[originally posted on May 6, 2011]