The CREEP / Repelling the CREEP

I’ve found that over the years, I have rushed away from my life. The past was a rushed jumble of “CREEP.”  CREEP is my acronym for the Circumstances, Responsibilities, Experiences, Expectations, Problems. 

CREEP exists. CREEP is real. I rushed to meet the CREEP as it showed up in deadlines, due dates, invoice dates, bills due dates, surprises (not always good), unexpected situations and events, publication dates, speaking appointments, and boundaries (those I bumped up against and those I needed to create). As with so many intrusions, success comes from grace-filled responses.

Amid the CREEP onslaught, my choices (as I appraised them back then) were to meet the CREEP or flee the CREEP in a rushed whirl of activity. I suited out and showed up.

I attended.

I participated.

I brought snacks to t-ball, printed programs for recitals, sewed costumes for shows, planned luncheons, and town halls.

As food became weaponized in ever-expanding consciousness campaigns, I baked or bought the obligatory 3-dozen donuts, cookies, cupcakes, fruit roll-ups,  ‘Lil Smokes, scones, sugar-free zucchini muffins, vegan carrot cakes, kale chips, granola blondies, fruit kabobs, and lactose-free, gluten-free, non-GMO “bars”.

Rationalization is something we usually do after the fact. Some of the following quips helped me to rationalize my CREEP-induced flurry:

“Do all you can … then do one more thing” (advice from a fellow single mom).
“If it is to be, it’s up to me” (William Johnsen’s well-meaning aphorism on steroids in my life).
“Why put off to tomorrow what you can do today” (my Granny and every other Granny from the Greatest Generation).
“I can do it backwards and in high heels.” (Ginger Rogers, (and who wouldn’t aspire to her elegance and energy?))
“You can sleep when you’re dead” (a spoken tenet of my German heritage).

What rationalizations did you tell yourself?

Rationalization also entangled in a mortgage of co-dependent conditioning, “If I meet the outside demands/solve your problem/deal with the class mom/solve the organizations problems, then, I’ll get time to myself, to worship, praise God, rest, play, and renew.”

Sometimes (most-times) the CREEP crippled my opportunity to live in the hug of His Grace. I think maybe I mortgaged my receptivity to His Grace. The Grace continued as He promised, but, perhaps, I would have benefited from resting in Grace.

While I maintained a Gratitude practice and experienced a few navel-gazing sabbaticals,  I think present-day me would have like more of a snapshot of the me of the past. While avoiding the human tendency toward navel-gazing, I could have stopped more to Heaven-gaze.

Is this just my singular experience? Have you experienced the CREEP? If so, I would love to know about your experience.

 

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